Happy Birthday To Me Quotes. "Country roads take me home to the place I belong.". 100+ Happy 70th Birthday Quotes & Wishes of 2022 12 Quotes About Texas to Remind You How Great the Lone-Star State Birthdays Sayings and Birthdays Quotes | Wise Sayings May this year be filled with many doors opening to you, and may you reach your biggest goals. (A hangover. To me old age is 15 years older than I am. "The way I see it, you should live every day like it's your birthday." Paris Hilton "A birth-date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life." Amit Kalantri "Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come." Lucy Larcom "Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed." Every year on your bday, you get a chance to start new. I hope this year's aliens are friendlier. Count not the years, but the life you live. Need Texas sayings about girls from Texas? -Larry L. King, What do the Texans say? 80+ Inspirational Birthday Quotes : Motivate and Celebrate As the old saying goes. -Travels with Charley, If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell. Otherwise, I wish you a very happy day, darling. Perfect 50th Birthday Quotes for 2023 | Routinely Nomadic This is really true, this is what happened to us. Singers Jessica Simpson, Beyonce, Hillary Duff, Kelly Clarkson and Demi Lovato are a few famous faces who hail from Texas. READ MORE. Happy Birthday, Texas! | The Daytripper So dry the catfish are carrying canteens. You mean the world to me, on your birthday and every day. Matthew McConaughey and his wife, Camila Alves, stepped out at his annual Mack, Jack & McConaughey Gala alongside their son Levi. Happy birthday! My current favorite is thePacsafe Citysafe, which is especially great for Texas because it has many anti-theft features designed to deter pickpockets in Texas cities. This significance of this day is beyond just your birthday. We also want to be the first people to greet you a Happy Birthday! I thought it was a joke. Port Arthur people thought I was a beatnik, though they'd never seen one and neither had I. I'm from Texas originally, and I've always wanted to be in a horror movie, so I've gotten both of my wishes with this project. I wish you a lovely day, not just today because it is your birthday, but all year round. 15 More Hilarious Texas Memes to Keep You Laughing - Wide Open Country Lauren Larson is a former features writer and editor. If a duck had his brain, it would fly north for the winter.He doesnt have enough sense to spit downwind.If he was bacon, he wouldnt even sizzle.If brains were leather, he couldnt saddle a flea.He carries his brains in his back pocket.Dumb as dirt.Dumb as a box of rocks.Dumb as a barrel of hair.Dumb as a post.Dumb as a wagon wheel.Dumb as a prairie dog.Dumb as a watermelon.He doesnt know come here from sic em.He doesnt know enough to pound sand down a rat hole.He cant ride and chew at the same time.So stupid if you put his brains in a bumblebee, itd fly backwards.If all her brains were ink, she couldnt dot an i.If all his brains were dynamite, he couldnt blow his nose.He dont know which ends up.He dont know a widget from a whangdoodle.He dont know nothing from nothing.He dont know diddly squat.He couldnt pour piss out of a boot with a hole in the toe and the directions on the heel.If he had a brain, itd die of loneliness.So thick-headed you can hit him in the face with a tire iron and he wont yell till morning.He could screw up an anvil. To the best woman in the . Texans think big. Phil Gramm, Texas women are like snowflakes. May your birthday be as beautiful as your soul is lovely. Let us know below. I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world Choreographer Tommy Tune. Texas is an obsession. The Texanist: Is It Okay For Non-Texans to Say Howdy? He could fall up a tree.Couldnt ride a nightmare without falling out of bed.He couldnt knock a hole in the wind with a sackful of hammers.So bad at farming he couldnt raise Cain.He couldnt hit the floor if he fell out of bed.Handy as hip pockets on a hog.Worthless as teats on a bull.Worthless as a sidesaddle on a sow.Not worth spit.He couldnt organize a pissing contest in a brewery.Useless as two buggies in a one-horse town.He could screw up a two-car funeral.Tie a quarter to it and throw it away, and you can say you lost something.Hes got no more chance than a June bug in the chicken coop.Hes a day late and a dollar short.He cant win for losing.Hes sucking hind teat.I need that like a tomcat needs a trousseau.Shes itching for something she wont scratch for.Why close the barn door after the horses are out?No more good than an eyeless needle.Like warming up leftover snow.Like pushing a wheelbarrow with rope handles.Like sweet-talking the water out of the well. Funny Birthday Quotes: 125 Funny Birthday Sayings for 2023 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages. Texas Birthday Quotes - ShortQuotes.cc our birthday is October 26, 1886.) Y'all. Texas gains her second RIIC Skill at Elite 2. Cant dance, never could sing, and its too wet to plow.I could sit still for that.You cant beat that with a stick. Happy birthday! Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years. 2. I look 40 and act 20; that made me 60. Best Funny & Humorous Happy Birthday Wishes -Jensen Ackles, Texas is like Australia with the handbrake off. DR. SEUSS (more Dr. Seuss quotes) Let us never know what old age is. Congratulations on surviving another year on this planet. "Never forget, son, when you represent Texas, always go first class."- James Michener "A born Texan has instilled in his system a mindset of no retreat and no surrender. Pin these Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions for Your Trip! Wishing a happy birthday to my beautiful wife, who never ceases to make each day the greatest! This is an all-out tantrum with hollerin', feet stompin' the works. You don't want to mess with a Texan who's throwing a hissy fit. Jennifer Yane. 116 Images. A myriad of only the sweetest birthday quotes that we could find! - By Steven Wright. Texas literally has a pledge they say every morning. Today is the most important day of my life. May your birthday be as sweet as you are. Drop them in the comments below! Home Texas 71 Best Texas Sayings and Quotes for Proud Texans. You are such a sweetheart babe! On your Birthday, my dear sister, I wish I can go back in time and slap myself every time I hurt you. They hung the wrong horse thief. 29 Funny Birthday Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud May God give you the wings of valor to soar high and spread your colors. This digitized version has since been updated to remove offensive lines. A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner.". 50 Brilliantly Funny Birthday Quotes For Your Own Amusement It is time to party! -Unknown, Years ago someone pointed out that Texas is hell on women and horses. 60 Funny Birthday Quotes Perfect for Cards - Reader's Digest And there's an opening convey of generalities. Just a small serving. The Top 50 Texas BBQ Joints: 2021 Edition. Birthdays Sayings and Quotes. Fat as a boardinghouse cat.Fat as a town dog.Shes warm in winter, shady in summer.He dont care what you call him as long as you call him to supper.So big he looks like he ate his brother.So big he has to sit down in shifts.Big as Brewster County.Big as Dallas.Big as a Brahma bull.Shed rather shake than rattle.Hes big enough to bear hunt with a branch.Hes all spread out like a cold supper.Wide as two ax handles.Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. If youre headed to Texas, check out my guide to visiting the San Antonio Missions,the Houston Space Center, and Mustang Island. And what could possibly be a better way to talk about this state than discussing its funny Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, and jokes? So whether youre looking for travel inspiration or Texas Instagram captions or Facebook statuses, here are my favorite Texas quotes! You cant share Texas quotes without sharing Texans quotes, right? This aint my first rodeo. when youre really experienced at something! -Molly Ivins, What you northerners never appreciate is that Texas is so big that you can live your life within its limits and never give a d*** about what anyone in Boston or San Francisco thinks. 7. -John Steinbeck. On my birthday, I wished for a friend like you. Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! It's yo birthday, we gonna party like it's yo birthday. Hope your year is better than those ears! If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther. 101 Best Birthday Quotes and Messages - Petal Republic On this special day, I just want to let you know that I want to be like you when I turn 70. 100 Best Happy Birthday Quotes & Wishes For Your Wife | YourTango Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself. I was going to get you a present, but I figured my presence was enough of a gift. Birthday Quotes Comedians Alan Gastelum "Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Booth Tarkington The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. Happy 70th Birthday! In Texas, folks aren't just richlocals say they didn't come to town two to a mule. They don't treat beatniks too good in Texas. Ron Brackin, I didnt drive eleven hours across the state of Texas to watch my cholesterol. Bernard M. Baruch Texas is a blend of valor and swagger. Carl Sandburg, Texas history is as varied, tempestuous, and vast as the state itself. -Philip Sheridan, If a mans from Texas, hell tell you. Shes got a bun in the oven.Shes sitting on the nest.Shes got one in the chute.Shes been storked. Nows Your Chance. Read the sites full Privacy & Disclosure policy here. An amateur historian and travel enthusiast, I travel around the world full-time visiting historic sites: hidden chapels, Communist monuments, ancient cities, religious relics, national parks, or any place that is beautiful, interesting, or weird. Go shawty! But what the hell? Texas is a place that has provided inspiration to everyone from musicians, artists, singers, painters, and dancers to elites in science, technology, and politics. It moves into you. Shes got some snap in her garters.Hes got plenty of arrows in his quiver.Shes got horse sense.Hes got plenty of notches on his gun.Shes a right smart windmill fixer.He could find a whisper in a whirlwind.Theres no slack in her rope.Hes a three-jump cowboy.He can ride the rough string.If she crows, the sun is up.This aint my first rodeo. He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning. Happy Birthday to the most lovable and adorable star on this planet. Unknown Author. Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent Funny Birthday Quotes. Today you are you! - Funny Birthday wishes. That Texas pride really shines through in these quotes. He gave me the wire-brush treatment.I got sandpapered.Ill snatch you bald-headed.Ill whip you like a redheaded stepchild.Ill knock you plumb into next week.He got his tail feathers trimmed. 3. 17 Fabulous Midwest Tourist Attractions You Need to See, How to Visit Camel Rock: A Popular Santa Fe Roadside Attraction Near Tesque, NM, 10 Places with Ancient Polygonal Walls Around the World that You Can Visit, How to Visit Playa Negra, Puerto Rico: Viequess Beautiful Black Sand Beach. Y'all is the southern contraction of you all, and it's meant to be used for when you're addressing more than one person. -Texas Department of Transportation, If you grab enough Texas land, somethin good is bound to happen. The Lone Star State is a unique place. There Are No Two Sides in Texass Fiery Truck Debate, At Brownsvilles Annual Grito Contest, Its All About Yelling Your Heart Out, The Astrodomes Decline From Eighth Wonder to Eighth Blunder of the World, Mosquito Hawks Are Flitting All Over Texas, I Biked the I-35 Hell Route From Austin to San Antonio So You Dont Have To. Dream big and make them true, so that one-day people get inspired by your sheer guts. Read our. Happy 28th Birthday Quotes & Funny Captions - Darling Quote Here's to another year of pretending we have our lives together. After all, you yourself are a gift to earth, so you deserve the best. Waco: American Apocalypse Doesnt Even Try. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back. He was wrong about horses, for most horses are considered to be valuable, and are treated very well. Showing search results for "Texas Birthday" sorted by relevance. Noisy as two skeletons dancing on a tin roof. The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. -Joseph Heller, Shed grown up believing in hell in an abstract nightmare way; but west Texas had given her something more concrete upon which to dread the afterlife. Then when you think in years to come. September 23, 2021; by Victoria Hudgins; Inside: Happy 28th Birthday Quotes + Captions. I feel sorry for you. Check out my Balkan Travel Blog + Oklahoma Travel Blog, 50 Stunning Hawaii Quotes & Hawaii Instagram Caption Inspiration, 101 Quotes about Los Angeles & LA Quotes that Make Perfect LA Instagram Captions, 50 Inspirational Kansas Quotes for Kansas Instagram Captions & Statuses, 101 Gorgeous Quotes About California & Fabulous California Instagram Captions, 250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, 101 Fabulous Quotes about New York & New York Instagram Captions, 30 Beautiful Chicago Quotes & Chicago Instagram Caption Inspiration, 13 Inspirational Colorado Quotes & Colorado Instagram Inspiration, The Best Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions. J Jamie Oakes-Mitchell 33 followers More information Wishing you a Texas sized birthday! honest. Wishing you a lot of surprises and happiness on your 65th Birthday. Im madder than a wet hen! hapy birthday greetings typography with ornament iilustration. I love the fact that Texas is so big, but you dont feel small because of that. She also released several albums during the period 2003-08. Editors note: This article was first published in print in 1994. The Texanist: Is My Husbands Devotion to Texas-Branded Foods Crazy? "When I was young, the Dead Sea was still alive.". Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Check out these belated birthday wishes if you're looking to make it up to your friend whose. Dan Solomon writes about politics, music, food, sports, criminal justice, health care, film, and business. : Janine Turner, There is a special mystique to Texas. If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther, Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. ~Sam Houston, Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking. George W. Bush, Texas is neither southern nor western. - By Jim Bishop. I love Texas too well to bring civil strife and bloodshed upon her. Anybody who wanders around the world saying, Hell yes, Im from Texas, deserves whatever happens to him. Hunter S. Thompson, The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that its impossible to be insane in Texas. Malcolm McDowell. Indeed, it's the friendliest way to say "Happy Birthday.". At Texas Swingers Clubs, the Lifestyle Is Booming, My Brothers Ashes, the Bayou, and an Enigmatic Life, What Is Left to Say About Waco? hes cheap. "Inside every older person is a younger personwondering what the hell happened.". Texas history for $200, Alex. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Texas is Texas. After all, by the time they've turned 60, most people can take a good senior joke or two. 7. Courtney Bond is an executive editor of Texas Monthlys Food & Drink and BBQ sections.

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